TurningPAGES Rationale (Jul ‘23)
Turning PAGES Playlist
Quarter III, Issue I
Curated by: Urfavfilosopher
Playlist: Listen on Spotify
New songs this issue:
Lush Life x Col3trane
Chrome Hearts x Jon Vinyl
Gold Chains x Xian Bell
Same Team x Kevin Ross
Flight 99 x Ta-ku, matt mcwaters, Masego
Work on Me x Xian Bell
Missing It x Inayah
Once-upon-a-time x Jamilah Berry
So this time around, I focused on R & B, alongside @Jai_Got_Soul ‘s list. I wanted to approach the installment (Lush Life to Once-upon-a-time) as telling a kind of story (and I roll my eyes very hard at how much we all love a love story)--and we all love a love story.
With this intention in mind, I wanted to do two things; I wanted to put yall on to new songs and artists (as always) and I wanted to tell the story of a love relationship gone toxic–(and while, yes, I do have more to say, these songs just fire af).
My own journey to and through non-monogamy and polyamory was paved by some of these love stories–laid out by good intentions. Sometimes these relationships would turn on my inability to communicate either my desire to relate to more than one person at a time or failure to communicate my actual participation in more than one relationship at a time.
These experiences (good, bad, and indifferent) have shaped the ways that I experience relationships and by that I mean, the things that I(‘ve) hope(d) to avoid. Some attempts being, admittedly, more successful than others.
The nine songs in this installment include songs that I think are well produced and masterfully written. This, of course, means I paid keen attention to lyrics while trying to stay true to my commitment to put yall on new artists:
The list opens with Lush Life by Col3trane, an enticing song about a lavish lifestyle. I considered this to be something like “shooting ya shot” at whoever you’re interested in–especially after having felt the initial spark of connection, for example, when Coltrane says “Every now and again/ I find someone lost as me, who has the slightest empathy, and I’ll keep you company.”
Then I transition to Chrome Hearts by JON VINYL which focuses on establishing a friendship. In discussions of love, friendship is under-discussed, so I wanted to make sure I held space for friendship on this list.Timing and tempo are delicate variables in intimate relationships. Sometimes we move too fast, and other times not fast enough. For me personally, relationships that have started in the space of friendship have been the most committed relationships I’ve been a part of.
Gold Chains by Xian Bell indexes the shift from non-sexual friendship(s) into an erotic relationship as he serenades us about how he loves to see his “gold chains in his gold bitxh face, she so flames.” But as was often the case for me, once relationships approach this milestone, it isn't long before they can take a sharp turn… one that Same Team by Kevin Ross captures aptly. Ross’ lyrics lament a chorus that refrains, “I think sometimes we forget that we’re both on the same team/I know sometimes I forget we’re both on the same team”; it captures the point where collaboration and cooperation dissolve into competition and one-upping. In some ways though, the song is somewhat of an extension of a truce to get back on the same page.
Flight 99 by Ta-ku, matt mcwaters, and Masego ushers in the “make-up” phase shortly after conflict– “animal, was actin so animal/ back in the day i was doggin you i was mistreating you/ i wasnt treating you like you was general, you a general/ we was at war and at love and at war and at love, but in tellin you that i would give it up.” This is followed by a segue to the chorus, “it was bad what i did to you/ let's start fresh”. The sonics are jazzy (which I think both Earl and Tha Homie Kev could appreciate).
After the proposal to start fresh is rejected, Xian’s Work on Me speaks to time spent apart and an opportunity for self-improvement to work on one’s self. But it also captures what we call “Spinnin’ the block” in LA (and what others affectionately call the “double back”). He writes, “I still got issues I ain't proud of/ I still see you in other women, I can’t date too much/ I still got bitches begging for my time and energy,... you sit on my memory so vividly/ As of late know I been trying to work on empathy and killing me, unhealthy habits I picked up to cope with you and me.” Xian expresses that he doesn't want all his work to go to waste when he sings “I'd be telling lies, if I said I aint still healing, for you I still got feelings” and so while he’s spent a lot of time “working on me but, tonight let me work on you.” In the minds of many, however, perhaps the move toward sharing sexual space with an ex or former lover might suggest that the self-work has been inadequate.
Missin It by Inaya is also situated as stewing from separation as “you been runnin laps around my head, missing watching you climb in my bed/ I know some things are better left unsaid, but tell your new bitch I said what I said”. She sits with a familiar struggle of accepting closure–”guess we can keep on pretending, you really think we finished/ but there’s really no way around it, this story don't have an ending/”–assuring herself that the toxicity isn't just hers and hers alone (“maybe it's me are we toxic?/ it aint just me need to stop it.”) The next song, Jamila Berry’s Once-Upon-a-Time communicates, however, that the story is in fact complete.
Finally, I ended with Jealous by Labrinth to close the list because of how the lyrics portray feelings of love lost so beautifully. For example, “I’m jealous of the rain, that falls upon your skin/ it's closer than my hands have been, I’m jealous of the rain/ I’m jealous of the wind that ripples through your clothes, it’s closer than your shadow. Oh I’m jealous of the wind.” He recalls sending his beloved off into the world with nothing but well wishes and good intentions but admits that “but I’d always thought you’d come back, tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery./ It's hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the ways you're happy without me.”
